Endors Toi

They lied. Its come to the term where i call it a Habit. Every night my mind will start clouding with thoughts of every single negative part of my life. Anxiety starts building up for the future. Saying to myself i shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't be here at all,living,breathing.

It takes time for me too cool down, to get some needed sleep, to ease my mind from starting to make decisions that could be fatal. Its a repetitive order and I'm getting sick and tired of it. Turns out as time goes by, Sleep may be the only thing now i'm craving for. I don't get sleep no more.

My mind can either go in a depressive state or a creative mood where i would think of so many ideas to put in the upcoming projects. That can take a heavy toll as well. It can corrupt me, with many unpleasant things. Things i wouldn't want to do, at all. Creativity kills the artist right?

I'm sleep deprived with so many thoughts and ideas. Is it good to be filled with plenty of ideas? or is it best to keep myself in a dark path where no one can reach out to me? A different route for a change.

So please Allah SWT i beg of you. Let me be at ease, let me have my needed rest. I have many things left in this world to do but my mind just cant take it anymore. Take me will you?